by James Classen
So I’m still plugging away at eHarmony, sending messages to girls that seem even vaguely interesting (though I still steer clear of those who list “drinking” as one of their favorite activities). Not a one has responded in a month. Part of the problem may well be that they have matching turned on, but aren’t actually subscribed: there’s no way to tell the difference (something I’ve complained about before). I put a lot of stock into a smile. I’ve met two girls in particular whose smile was like a punch to the chest, such that I was instantly smitten. I’ve no idea what happened to one of them; another remains a Facebook friend, still single, still not interested in me. Not that that’s really a problem, there’s 200+ miles between us, which I imagine would cause me more grief than I’d care to admit. The few (three) I’ve managed second dates with weren’t right for one reason or another, and they’ve all found happiness with someone else. And here’s another likely part of the problem: when I meet a girl, and their smile or personality or interests grab my attention, I take so much time working up to saying, well, anything—”Love your hair,” for example—that managing the “date” question is pretty astonishing to me. I’m always “just a few weeks away from a real, audible connection.” I’ve done it once. If I happen to catch that she’s going on a date with someone else, though (no matter what the circumstances), I give up immediately. “Oh, she’ll be happy with him, let her be,” I tell myself. I fall into the “nice guy” category, the one that Cracked makes clear will never get the girl (yes, there’s a joke buried in there; c’mon, it’s Cracked, but like most of their articles, it has some good points).
If I make it through those 9 days, training as I should, I will reward myself by seeing this movie. Joss Whedon has called for a boycott of this film, so I must see it. I mean, it did beat The Avengers’ box office totals for opening weekend. Per screen, anyway.